Just Another Millenial Travel Blog

Aka a new essay on insights about, in my opinion, growing up I wanted to share.

Unpopular truth: You can’t have it all. Written by someone who, once again, sits in an almost empty apartment in a country I call home for now. Being an adult and being grown-up in my POV means making decisions and accepting the consequences. Want kids, want a career, want to have a life abroad or whatever you are striving for: great. But please stop complaining about the consequences.

My lifestyle – consequently moving towards an international career and therefore making serious sacrifices in my 20s (the relationship costs) has its peaks as much as it has its downsides. For sure I am now on a path towards financial stability and my travel life has improved significantly. Therefore having kids (probably ever) is far away and probably will never happen – a price I have paid. Not finally yet but if I had married in my home town the probability would be significantly higher. And I honestly feel true joy for every one of my girlfriends who got married in the most recent years and now have babies. And 100% at every bachelorette party, wedding and baby shower I question my life choices. Nonetheless, aside from social obligations and ideas I had in my early 20s based on these, there are two main life targets that have remained quite stable over all the years: having an international career and getting married. As finding the right husband is not that easy I am more focused on the first part.

Can anyone foresee the long term consequences for any choice you make, even if you supposedly play it safe? Absolutely not. You have to make decisions under uncertainty anyways and when you don’t do so proactively life will decide anyway (kids are the best example). You can, and I am aware that this is pretty much straightforward, only choose one path and per definition all others lives remain unlived. Probably being a housewife in Upper Franconia and having four kids would have been the biggest fulfilment of my life – most likely I will never find out.

I don’t know whether the path I am very clearly on is the best possible life. And it is impossible to find out. Probably I would have met the love of my life at Igensdorfer Kerwa 2018 or I will meet him in Shanghai 2034. As I have decided to live in the UK in 2018 I will never find out the first. So I chose a life – when I went to our local convenience store at age 14 to buy Zeit Studienführer – far away from home. Its rewards are mine, its opportunity costs are mine and the lives I did not choose will remain unlived. Occasionally I do have regrets and grief for sure. The responsibility for my choices nonetheless remains with me and is a crucial part of my sense of duty – never complain, never explain.

Your actions express your priorities – my actions are crystal clear and I wouldn’t be at the point where I am today professionally, wouldn’t have excelled academically, wouldn’t have that level of English proficiency and truly grown self-confidence (evidence over affirmation to quote Eileen Gu) if I hadn’t poured my heart into my academic and professional journey. Which I love – and honestly I feel slightly proud solo travelling to Asia as a girl from a small village in Upper Franconia (with the best forest and cherries on planet earth!), moving countries and doing things. Nonetheless I am asking myself occasionally how it would have been – marrying a nice guy from home, having a house, probably two kids and a stable social life with people you have known since elementary school.

The older I become the clearer I do see the transaction costs for any life you choose – and having adventure and an international life definitely comes with a price tag. It is not particular (or at least only slightly) grief, more an awareness on what has been missed out especially as I chose a slightly more unconventional path in life. Overall I wouldn’t want it any other way for now. I do believe, as in 100 years nobody will remember anyway who we have been, that running towards your wildest dreams in this short amount of time you have (and we have nothing but time) to me is the right thing. Carpe diem and you are the captain of your life.

Btw this blog post is now to be finished at Zurich airport – about to leave for Shanghai tonight sitting at Starbucks (the true living room of globalisation). Even though I might have mourned slightly in this post (or to reframe it reflected – clearly not working in sales) this is one of those pinch me moments small Hanna in her Bavarian nursery could have only dreamed about and now became true. So probably some choices also create benefits. Looking very much forward to the next 2.5 weeks in my (for now) favourite city in the world. For sure I am not travelling for leisure but for a two-week Mandarin intensive language course. Aside from that I am looking forward to the amazing vibe of the city, practicing my very bumpy Chinese, eating amazing Shanghainese food and drinking the best coffee.